


In the Way of Life and Death

by jessaverant



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Based on a Tumblr Post, Car Accidents, Character Death, F/F, Past jaspis, Sad Ending, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16050908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessaverant/pseuds/jessaverant
Summary: Your soulmate is assigned to you at birth. When they are in intense pain, you feel it yourself.While in the hospital for appendicitis, Peridot is struck with a biting, world-ending pain. Her soulmate.---Based on a Tumblr prompt





	In the Way of Life and Death

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the following prompt from writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com:
> 
> "You live in a world where you have a soulmate assigned to you at birth. Whenever your soulmate is in pain, you feel it. You are a patient in a hospital, and one day, you feel your entire body erupt in agony. You look out the window, and somebody is wheeling a person who seems to be in the same kind of agony as you out of an ambulance."

It was the pain that jerked her back to unforgiving consciousness. It seared through her abdomen, up through her chest and her throat, white-hot and  _ burning, _ as if all her internal organs had been lit on fire.

Peridot awoke with a gasping cry, eyes wide and gaping at the dark ceiling. The clinical stench of the hospital invaded her nostrils now that she was awake again, and all she could do was curl into a ball under the too-thin sheets and clench her teeth. She prayed one of the several machines hooked up to her would alert the nurses to her predicament.

“Oh,  _ God, _ ” she gasped. She swallowed the bile in her throat that was boiling in her gullet from the pain blossoming over her skin. It felt like her appendix was bursting all over again. “ _ Fuck. _ ”

“Miss de la Rosa?” a voice said from the doorway. Peridot gasped again and opened one eye to see one of the nurses (Theresa? Talia? Teana? Something like that) come into the room. She quickly checked Peridot’s vitals, a chart pressed against her chest, staring at one monitor in frustration. “I don’t see anything wrong here. Can you tell me where the pain is?”

Peridot opened her mouth to speak when there was another wave of agonizing pain, like a million needles tearing through her skin at once. She could taste copper on her tongue, thick and heady with the taste of blood. 

“Miss de la Rosa?”

“ _ E-everywhere! _ ” Peridot all but screamed, one hand flush against her chest, where she could feel her heart beating beneath her fingertips. Her entire body shook and she  _ knew, _ this pain was different from the appendicitis. It felt as if someone had driven hot metal rods right through her gut, shoving them so far in they pushed out through her spine, and she could feel  _ every… square… inch.  _

“Try not to move, you might be having complications from surgery,” the nurse insisted. 

_ My surgery was two days ago, _ Peridot though weakly.  _ Should I be feeling  _ this _ bad? _

“Please-- pain m-meds,  _ anything!” _ she cried. The nurse took down a few more notes and grabbed her wrist, biting her lower lip as she took Peridot’s racing pulse.

_ Oh, God, _ Peridot thought mournfully, _ just kill me now. _ The writhing woman didn’t even hear the nurse leave, and Peridot twisted her back flat as the pain rippled up through her head. It all centered in her waist, right above her stomach. It was just beneath her heart, set back in her lungs, and the pain was  _ unbearable. _

And then, just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The pain vanished from her limbs and Peridot was left panting, sweating profusely, her heart still pounding in her chest. Peridot took a few huge gulps of air, suddenly light-headed, and threw the blanket off her trembling legs. She lay on her back, the air cooling her hot skin, half terrified the pain would return at any moment. The nurse had returned to the room with a doctor, who opened the window the meager inches it allowed. 

“Peridot,” Dr. Maheswaran said, “are you still feeling any pain?”

“I don’t think so,” Peridot said softly, her breathing finally receding to a regular pace. The memory of the pain remained, burned into her like a scar. She pushed her sweaty dark blonde locks off her forehead and ran her fingers through them in an effort to tame them, but it was one a.m. in a hospital and she knew it was useless. Outside, an ambulance wailed into the evening, one of the hundreds she heard daily in her room above the emergency entrance. Dr. Maheswaran gave her a glass of water and two pills and encouraged her to take them as she examined the machines with the nurse. Peridot took the pills and sighed, breathing out her nose.  _ And they said the worst pain was the burst appendix… _ she closed her eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep.

“...need a room!”

“...a drip--”

“...we’re losing her...”

A chorus of voices came in through the cracked window, and Peridot’s ears perked.  _ They must be coming from that ambulance, _ she thought. She opened on eye and could see the reflection of the lights against the glass. There was more yelling, more scurrying, and the cry of a creaking stretcher as another unfortunate soul was wheeled into the emergency room. One of the EMTs was speaking with the intake nurse just below her window.

“...car crash. Yeah, it was really bad. Right through the guard rail, plummeted down into the ravine.”

“It’s always on the full moon we get all the car crashes, huh? Any insight into cause?”

“Cell phone. Some witnesses said she was driving erratically and appeared to be arguing with someone on the phone. She’s got a pulmonary laceration, abdominal trauma and she lost nearly two liters of blood. She went into shock just before we got here.”

_ Tragic, _ Peridot thought.  _ What a way to go. _

“Keep an eye on this and let me know if she starts feeling that pain again,” Dr. Maheswaran was saying to the nurse as Peridot turned onto her side. The pain from her surgery felt like nothing now that she’d experienced something two hundred thousands times  _ worse _ and she was almost… comfortable for the first time in three days.

“Peridot? I have to go to the ER but Talia will be here,” she said before leaving the room. The intake nurse and EMT finished up underneath her window, and the EMTs hopped back into the ambulance and drove off to make room for the one that was currently arriving.

“Talia?” Peridot asked. The nurse glanced up. “Can you close the window? I’m over listening to the ER tonight.”

“Are you feeling better?” Talia asked as she walked over to the window and pulled it shut. 

“Loads,” Peridot said. “I don’t know what that was but I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy.” Talia sat in the chair beside her bed and flipped a page on her clipboard, pulling a pen from her pocket.

“Can you describe the pain to me?” she asked, and poised for notes. Peridot sighed but agreed.

“It kind of felt like… like something had gone  _ through _ me,” she explained, gesturing to her stomach. “Right around here. Like a metal rod or something. And it was super sudden, and it felt like I was bleeding a lot…” Peridot trailed off as she brought her fingers to her lips. They were dry and chapped as always, but she could have sworn she tasted blood before. Talia quickly noted all of the details down and stared at them thoughtfully for a moment.

“Miss de la Rosa--” Talia began.

“Peridot, please,” Peridot insisted. 

“Peridot,” Talia corrected, “Dr. Maheswaran and I had a thought earlier. The pain you’re describing sounds like a penetrating trauma, such as from an accident. Your charts didn’t show anything wrong with you, and appendicitis  _ wouldn’t _ cause that kind of pain.” Talia finally looked up at Peridot and met her tired gaze. “Are you single?”

“I--what,” Peridot deadpanned. “Yeah, I’m single. Why?”

“Could that have been the phantom pain of your soulmate?” Peridot opened her mouth and closed it again, bringing one hand to her abdomen and settling it there. That hadn’t occurred to her. Her soulmate - wherever she was - had only experienced intense pain one time before that she could remember; when she was seven and her soulmate broke her leg. Now that she thought about it, it  _ was  _ similar, with a sudden onset of pain that disappeared just as quickly as it arrived.

“I… I guess so,” Peridot admitted, suddenly feeling very cold. “It was just so…” she struggled to find the right word and then sighed. “ _ Painful. _ ”

“Mm,” Talia said. “My husband suffered from acid reflux as a child. I was a vegetarian growing up. When his attacks were really bad, I’d feel it in my throat.”

“Does it go away?” Peridot asked. “I’ve only experienced her pain once before and it was a long time ago. I guess she doesn’t get hurt often?” Talia pursed her lips.

“It does go away, once you find them,” Talia admitted. She glanced down at her left hand, a simple gold ring winking back up at her. Peridot followed her gaze and couldn’t stop the pang of jealousy in her throat.

_ Her soulmate... _

“Anyway, I’m not an expert in this kind of thing, I only deal in pain that is happening to  _ you, _ ” Talia said, blushing only slightly and standing up. “We’re short staffed tonight so unless it’s an emergency, you’ll be attended by one of the junior doctors on-call. Dr. Maheswaran is busy keeping charge of the ER.” Her eyes fluttered to the partially-curtained windows. “It’s a full moon, so it’s been  _ very _ busy.”

“I think I’ll just sleep now,” Peridot mumbled, pulling the covers over herself. “Thank you, Talia, for your help.”

“I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours,” Talia said, looking relieved to have ended the conversation. She fled from the room, leaving Peridot alone once more in the dark.  _ Her soulmate.  _ The person she was seventy-five to ninety-five percent convinced didn’t exist since she’d somehow made it all the way to twenty-two without meeting her.  _ My soulmate… _

She drifted into an uneasy sleep, lulled by the round robin of sirens outside.

\--

_ “--lying, cheating, whore--” _

_ “I never cheated!” _

_ “Your lies were just as bad!” _

_ “FUCK YOU!” Lapis screamed, flipping the bird over her shoulder as she stormed to her car. She threw open the door and scrambled inside, not even bothering to check to see if she had her wallet with her. Jasper was standing on the concrete, feet bare, wiping at the tears streaming down her face.  _

_ “Where the fuck do you think you’re going, huh?” Jasper called as Lapis started the engine. “Lapis! HI’ILANI LAZULI!” _

_ “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Lapis bellowed back as she reversed out of the parking lot of the apartment complex. Her own tears were stinging her eyes and wetting her cheeks, the pain rushing back into her chest. With a snarl Lapis floored the gas pedal and peeled out of the parking lot, leaving a running and yelling Jasper in her exhaust. She only made it two blocks before she broke down in tears at a stop light. _

_ “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” she cried, banging the steering wheel with each yell. She gingerly touched her right side, where the intense, sharp pain had been three days prior.  _

_ “God fucking damnit,” Lapis said through her tears. She should be relieved; there was now official confirmation that Jasper Hobbes was not, in fact, her soulmate. And even worse,  _ Jasper _ knew, too. The suspicions of the last few months were now documented fact that she couldn’t ignore. Lapis was torn from her reverie by the loud honking of the car behind her and she continued her drive to destination: anywhere else but here. _

_ After a few minutes of silent brooding, her phone, which was on the seat beside her, began to light up. She didn’t even need to look at it to know who was calling her. _

_ “Fuck off, Jasper,” she muttered, swerving onto the exit for the interstate. She scowled at the car she had cut off, knowing full well she was driving recklessly but not caring at all. She needed the bit of extreme freedom that came from driving a little too fast. _

_ Her phone lit up again. _

_ She continued to ignore it. Instead, she wondered about the intense pain she had experienced several days prior.  _

_ “Must be like, her stomach or something,” Lapis muttered to herself. “I hope she’s okay.” She had thought something was wrong with her stomach until she went to urgent care and found absolutely nothing wrong with her… and then Jasper found out… _

_ “Think about something else!” Lapis said to the windshield. “Anything else!” _

_ Her phone lit up once more. Lapis ignored it and breathed heavily through her nose. She rolled down the window and let the deafening scream of the passing wind drown out her thoughts. _

_ Her phone lit up again. She took the winding exit to the smaller, darker highway, the one that wound around the lake and connected with the I-425 seven miles down. That would take her to Beach City in about an hour and then she could find Steven. Only Steven would welcome her in at midnight with open arms. _

_ Her phone lit up again. _

_ And again. _

_ Each time, an old image of her and Jasper lit up the screen. She was laying against Jasper’s shoulder, her arm wrapped into the crook of Jasper’s elbow, her other arm outstretched. Jasper was leaning in, looking surprised and flushing darkly, completely unprepared for the picture. It was from early in their relationship, back when all Lapis wanted to do was touch and hold and flaunt Jasper everywhere she went. _

_ She glanced at the phone. It lit up  _ again _. She put her eyes back on the road. Every other streetlight was out on this highway; some convoluted money-saving technique. The lights that were on cast a dull glow, barely illuminating the median or the guardrails. It was almost midnight, and the light cast by the full moon was blocked by the forest lining the edge of the road. _

_ Once more, her phone illuminated the dark interior of the car. This time, it made her  _ angry.  _ A white-hot fury raced through her body, up her throat and polluting her brain, tearing her eyes from the road and grabbing the phone with such force she nearly crushed it. _

_ “WHAT?” she yelled into the phone, holding it in front of her. She glanced between the windshield and the phone, eyeing a sedan that was driving a bit too close to the median for her taste. It whipped around the corner just as another appeared before her. Why was this road so busy at midnight? _

_ “Lapis,” Jasper panted. She sounded like she had just gone for a hard run with a cold; stuffed and out of breath. “Lapis, come back. We can talk about this.” _

_ “Talk about what?” Lapis said, a truck overtaking her as the road narrowed. She flipped the bird as it roared past, taking advantage of the two lanes that slowly became one. Apparently, ten miles over the speed limit wasn’t fast enough.  _

_ “This,” Jasper said, as if she were referring to an off-putting painting. “C’mon, I don’t want it to end like this.” _

_ “I believe  _ you _ were the one who accused me of  _ cheating _ ,” Lapis said in a low voice, “even though I’ve been nothing but faithful to your sorry ass.” As she rounded the corner, all of the streetlights were gone. This stretch was in complete darkness, and Lapis flipped on her high beams to compensate.  _

_ “Fuck this road,” she muttered. _

_ “Where are you?” _

_ “As if you care,” Lapis said. Jasper scoffed on the phone. _

_ “I still love you, you know,” she said, with a hint of sadness. “Even if we’re not…” _

_ “We’re not,” Lapis confirmed. “Shoulda known it, too, from the shitty way you’ve been acting.” _

_ “You’ve been acting shitty yourself!” _

_ “Oh just fuck right off!” Lapis shouted, slamming her fists into the steering wheel. Her arm grazed the lever that controlled the headlights, and for a moment, she was plunged into complete darkness. No other cars, no street lights, no moon, no headlights. Nothing but blissful dark, barely even the outline of a tree. Just her and the faint lights on her dashboard. She could hear Jasper sniffling on the phone that now lay on her passenger seat upside-down. _

_ As soon as that moment came, it went, and reality slammed into Lapis;  _ she couldn’t see the road at all.  _ And this road was winding. Her heart jumped into her throat as she flipped the headlights back on, just in time to see-- _

_ “Lapis?”  _

_ She didn’t even have time to scream. Her car plunged through the guardrail and pitched over the edge of the ravine, rolling over three times before settling in a heap of twisted metal and car alarms. The headlights beamed onto a pile of old rocks before dying completely, leaving it’s unconscious occupant crushed and alone in the dark. _

_ Her phone had been ejected from the car upon landing. It lay face-up in a patch of barren grass. _

_ It lit up as it began to ring. _

_ \-- _

“Talia?” The young nurse looked up from the desk where she was marking forms, surprised to see Dr. Maheswaran standing behind her. Her face was drawn and her posture was uncharacteristically slumped. Talia furrowed her brow in surprise.

“Dr. Maheswaran?” she asked tentatively. “Are you alright?”

“Just… a long night,” Dr. Maheswaran answered with a sigh. “Can you please process these forms?” She handed a wad of paper to Talia. “I’m going to make a round before heading out.”

“Alright,” Talia said, glancing down at the papers. They were paperclipped together and the top page said in very large letters,

MEDICAL EXAMINER’S CERTIFICATE OF DEATH

“Horrifying car crash,” Dr. Maheswaran said in a soft voice from the doorway. Her eyes were trained on the certificate in Talia’s hands. “Young. Very young. Distracted driving.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I just got off the phone with her… partner. Apparently this young woman had been disowned by her family and all she had was her significant other. Her SO has no idea how to get in touch with her family or who they are.” She removed her reading glasses and placed them into her jacket pocket. “Can you imagine? Her own mother won’t ever know her daughter is dead.”

“Oh, Priyanka,” Talia started, but Dr. Maheswaran held up her hand to stop her. 

“It’s fine, Talia. Please just process that.” Dr. Maheswaran took one last glance, and then left the office, heels clicking against the tiled floor. Talia pursed her lips and flipped through the notes, checking to make sure everything was in order before processing the information. On the third page of the packet was a crude diagram showing the extent of the young woman’s injuries; broken arms, crushed legs, extreme blood loss. 

The thing that stuck out to her the most, however, was the large metal cylinder that had been shoved straight through her abdomen. According to the notes, it was a piece of the guard rail she had crashed into. Gone right down with her and her car, twisting back into the vehicle and through the windshield to pierce her right through. It had been the fatal wound. 

“Huh,” Talia murmured.  _ A large metal rod right through her.  _ Not unusual for a car crash, but this particular detail set off alarm bells in the back of her mind.  _ Metal rod. Large metal rod. _

_ “...Like a metal rod or something.” _

Talia nearly dropped all the papers onto the floor as the realization clicked. She flipped back to the first page:  _ Hi’Ilani “Lapis” Lazuli. Aged twenty-two. Hometown: Lāhainā, Hawaii. _

Talia rose to her feet and was about to exit the nurse’s station when Dr. Maheswaran re-appeared, her face ashen.

“Priyanka--” Talia started once more, but Dr. Maheswaran interrupted. 

“Peridot’s awake,” she said, voice hoarse. “She just described her pain to me. It sounded like...” The pair glanced down at the papers clenched in Talia’s hands. At that moment, the fax machine clunked to life in the nurse’s station, and a few faxes popped onto the tray. Dr. Maheswaran pushed past Talia and reached for the printouts. They were an insurance form, a referral request, and a grainy image of a dark-skinned, blue-haired young woman smiling in the afternoon sun.

“This is against protocol,” Dr. Maheswaran said, leaving the other papers behind and bringing the photo over to Talia. “And if anyone finds out we did this, we could be fired and our licenses stripped. Do you understand?”

“Absolutely,” Talia said, shoulders squared. She clipped Lapis’s papers to an unused clipboard. 

“Let’s introduce Peridot to her soul mate.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know absolutely nothing about hospitals, sorry if it was all sorts of a mess.


End file.
